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浅抱
浅抱

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雷段冷幽默,一丝冷笑脸上挂

浅抱 2014-05-08 13:43:55  

1、今天找了个算命先生算算我这辈子是有钱还是没钱。他在纸上写下“性命”两个字,问我哪个字重要?

我想了想说:“当然是命比较重要”。

他摇摇头:“你,没钱。”

我: “为什么?”

大师: “有钱,认性。没钱,认命…”

2、雷公要雷劈不孝子,不孝子问道:“你是新雷公还是旧雷公?”

雷公:“此话怎讲?”

不孝子说:“

“如是新雷公,就任凭你劈。如是旧雷公,我父亲不孝我爷爷时,你干啥去了?”

3、唐僧师徒四人好几天没有吃东西了,实在饿的不行,“到底是煮了八戒还是炒了悟空,沙僧你最老实你说?”

沙僧仔细想想说:“师傅,我们随你去取经无非就是为了长生不老。。。”

4、新版豫剧,关公辞曹唱段,曹操(唱): 曹孟德在马上一声大叫, 关二弟听我说你且慢逃。

……

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Catch a cold

浅抱 2013-12-25 05:21:18  

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold.”

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